Otter faking it?

Oil spills are particularly visible examples of our oil based system gone wrong. This is a topic that The Onion - America's Finest News Source brings to the public consciousness with their investigative report into the phenomenon of otters faking suffering due to oil exposure. Otters like environmentalists go overboard (pun intended) with their complaints about pollution destroying their environments.

According to Shell president Marvin Odum, the otter has been putting on "quite a show" in front of rescue workers and clean-up crews, and is making the 860,000-gallon, three-mile-wide toxic slick seem like a much bigger deal than it actually is.

"He's fine," said Odum, referring to the 40-pound sea creature, who was found washed ashore and appeared to be suffering from anaphylactic shock. "Trust me, before all of the cameras and reporters showed up, our little buddy here was having no problem at all cleaning himself off. Now, all of a sudden, it's severe spastic convulsions this and complete kidney failure that."...

Ollila went on to praise a number of petroleum-soaked seals, pelicans, and sea turtles in the contaminated area, commending them for remaining completely still and silent, and not "making a big production" out of the environmental disaster when rescue and camera crews arrived at the scene.

On a more serious note, oil spills present a particularly severe risk in the Arctic Ocean. The ecosystem is more vulnerable to disruptions, because there is a delicate balance of life that can exist in cold temperatures. The issue of Arctic sovereignty for Canada and other Northern nations is important here, because if the North West passage is owned by Canada then Canada can enforce environmental standards against ships that fly any flag. This way we can board, inspect, punish and deter rickety ships that travel with "flags of convenience". Maybe we can protect some otters too...